“All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.” -Raymond Hull
This piece of writing has specially been written from weaker sex perspective, while men are more then welcome to read where I feel they lack :(.
Why I consider marriage a gamble is because I contradict to the view:
- “There exists an amazing understanding b/w us” (s/he knows me inside out…. They why do you people fight and let neighbors listen your loud music)
- “He bears a good character, my father hired a private investigator / went to his office etc” … (Alas! After marriage one gets to know about pre-marriage affair(s), lady is treated like a servant etc)
- “His mom and sis are shoooo sweet”… (Ladies who suffer domestic violence includes the girls who stated this)
- “We will live separately, no family intervention in our matters”…(Good! Then why are you separated now?)
- “Baby doll i love the way you smile / look at me/ million of kisses to my pumpkin / you made my life”… (this all later transforms to => Get lost / Bit*h/Shut up / don’t stare like that / you ruined my life)
In my view marriage can easily be associated with employment where your side by colleague is hubby, the role of boss / gossiper / marketing and public affairs / operations will go to monster and scamp in law (mother and sister in law respectively). Father in law is majority of time is a façade, bearing the title of but in actual is a puppet to monster. Other colleagues in the office have different job description and political role.
As a newly wed bride enters the new office, she has loads of new challenges waiting for her… a generic sequence is as follows:
- In some cases, especially where she will be living in joint family system, her wedding night is ruined when her husband tells her to obey his mother at all times.
- The honey moon period is ruined, when she is subliminally informed that it is her probation period, and responsibilities await at her arrival.
- New job (home), new people to work with (family members), new bosses (mom and pa in law), the new who is who and whose through are learnt through experience.
- Oscillating attitude of Hubby, where he wants to pacify his bitter half and the family members at the same time.
- Adapting to new customs and traditions, for example, how specific food item is prepared
“every mother-in-law desires that her son in law is very subservient to her daughter, but cannot imagine the same for her son”
The options left at the disposal of new employee are as follows:
- Modify what she learnt from the old job (her mom) and apply to the new job to get her self adjusted
- Give her self a new start by adjusting and learning things from scratch
- Switch or transfer, i.e. detach from joint family system or separate
- Resign: Divorce
A little calmness in nature, sharing your views / ideas and feeling with our companion to reach a solution is far more better then loosing a companion or family or both for life.