Monday, August 9, 2010

Murder by Marriage!!! :)

murder by marriage I saw this newly married couple, in a mall, smiling every other moment for no good reason, walking hand in hand, pointing at items, giggling in such a manner that to me felt as if they were seeking attention of others around them, with a purpose to give them a glance, envy the sweat between their palm and the look they give one another when they smile.
Alas! they didn’t know, “When a newly married couple smiles every one knows why, when they do the same after 10 years, every one wonders why”

Marriage is a mistake done in good times because “when your time is good your mistakes are taken as joke”. The married people around the “to be” married couple do not inform them about the forth coming catastrophes because all the married couples in the world have one common goal, “why un married people should have all the fun… let them come to the club and face the music”.
Bachelorhood is equal to being living like Robin Hood, one does every thing for fun and for him / her self no irrelevant restrictions like being at home at home at 7pm, No friends Just Me, Sunday means take me shopping or my mother’s place, “don’t cook something regular today”, Don’t eat out, you will have to drop me at X’s when you come back today…etc etc
The best thing that I have noted in married couples is they are masters in striking one another with Sarcasm, the effectiveness is at peak when they are in their friends circle and taunting one another, and i have observed that females are better at it, they throw such sugar coated daggers that for once a person like me thinks “Man! i was better off single”…
“Wife: See that drunkard… i refused to marry him 10 years back and he is still drinking
Husband: Wohoo! 10 years and still Celebrating”

“Killer marriages are those where both the partners disgust one another, but they are so damn used to one another, that they continue to live another 50 years.
Compromising Marriagesare those where for the better future of kids they continue to live together and have more kids too :).
Rumble in the Bronx Marriages are where the couples end up fighting (which includes beating / abusing / involving FnF /all the x y and z’s) and later they are hugging, smooching, saying sorry while we had all the fun and await for the next episode eagerly.
“Finger Marriages , where one partner listens patiently to all the complains of his / her partner and when it ends, s/he smile and passes remark that continues the other person for another hour.
“What is the similarity between 11:59:59 pm and Marriage                       ===> the days change

Why Married People live less:
1. They do no sleep well, [sleeping with ‘tension’ on the other side of the bed where many think their bitter half may kill them in the night]
2. Jealousy factor, [when they see their friends counterpart, who totally fits their description of an ideal partner]
3. Cash flow problems, [ I won’t wear this dress, they have seen me in this attire before, need to buy a new at XYZ’s]
4. Risk of Cheating / betrayal  [were you in office / why did you drop your colleague to her house / who dropped you back]
5. Connected for life (forcefully…) [I am at my mothers, call me when you reach office, then when you leave, then when you reach home, then……]

 Unmarried people lead a stress free life till they marry because:
1. No one disturbs Sunday mornings sleep
2. No one blabs around for cleaning and housework every other minute
3. No one constantly pings your ears when one returns from work
4. You can treat the washroom the way you want to
5. No one complains about your snores / kicking / talking while you sleep
6. Watching your sport’s channel / action movie / chick flick is more fun
7. No one comes yelling if you spill liquid on bed sheet / holds you responsible if the car key is misplaced
8. You always know for how much you will shop :)… budget remains in control (always)

Earlier in my teenage I wanted to have a girlfriend, when I finally got one I felt both of us were not Clicking (probably we both didn’t find a better opportunity),  later i found a passionate girl … she was passionate in every aspect but not about me, then i finally decided to settle down with a girl who is smart, decent, and with stable mood and Thank God I have yet not found one, because the last person who found the female fitting the description got divorced  and the lady took every thing he made in his life.

I am personally of the school of thought that suicide (love marriage) is better then being at the disposal of your killer (arranged marriage). Thus willing to take responsibility of my acts but not yet ready 
 married and unmarried

1 comment:

  1. Got your link form Facebook writers club page,
    truly funny, loved reading it.

    I would like to post and extraction form a Husbands Diary:
    "Now i always watch my wedding video in reverse because
    i love teh end when she takes the ring off, goes out, jumps in the car and goes back to her fathers home:)